Oak Chapel United Methodist Church

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Many a young girl has expressed her wish to be pretty, only to hear mom say, "Pretty is as pretty does." A tad snotty, perhaps, but not a bad answer, when all is said and done. For adults know that beauty is far more than make-up, and hair, and nails…which is where most teens are in their thinking. We've learned, sometimes the hard way, that if prettiness is not in the heart, and mind and soul - if it's only physical and not reflected in the way we live -- it soon turns to ugliness. Pretty is as pretty does.

St. Paul is talking, here in I Corinthians, about love (agape), and he has just stressed how essential it is to Christians. ("If I don't have agape, I am nothing," he says. We talked about that last week.) And now Paul wants to tell us what love is. But he doesn't define it. Instead, he tells us what it looks like, what it does. For love is not an abstract concept, and love is not a feeling (Hollywood to the contrary not withstanding). Love, in the Bible, is an action verb. Love is as love does. And to describe how love does, how agape shows itself in human life, Paul chooses some wonderful words, positive and negative - words which have become precious to Christians - "patient," "kind," "not jealous, not boastful, not arrogant, not rude, not insistent on its own way." Bearing, believing, hoping, enduring." The best little description of Christian living anywhere.

Every Bible commentator, when talking about this list of virtues, says Paul must have been thinking about Jesus. If "Christian" means "little Christ," then Christians strive to be like Jesus. And these words Paul chose fit Jesus to a tee. He was patient, kind, not jealous, nor arrogant, nor rude, and so forth.

Let's look at a few of these words, these Christian virtues, which Paul recommends to his friends in Corinth.. "Patient." (The King James Bible says, "longsuffering.") I truly admire people who have patience. I'm so terribly impatient myself. I expect things to happen, and to happen now! I want what I want yesterday! But I watch others, teachers, for example, - so calm and unhurried, so willing to let a child learn at his own pace. Marvelously able to come back tomorrow and start all over again when the child has forgotten everything he learned yesterday. Not letting frustration give way to bitterness or anger. I admire that. I'm working on it. Then there is patience with other adults - with folks who are slower to learn, folks who make the same mistake a hundred times, folk who are trapped in negative, self-defeating patterns of thought. It's hard to be patient with people like that. I admire those who can work with the retarded, or the disabled. Willing to be satisfied with small progress. Such wonderful patience! Paul couples the word "patient" with the word "kind." And that's appropriate. Much of what we deem as kindness is really just patience

God's is, and has been, patient with us - the whole history of Israel gives evidence of that. And sometimes we must be patient with God. That is another kind of patience. Those who wait for God, Isaiah says (in one of the Bible's most wonderful promises), "They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint." "Wait upon (wait for) the Lord." The ultimate test of our patience. John Milton, struggling and frustrated with his own blindness, finally concludes, "They also serve who only stand and wait." Sometimes our rightful service is in waiting, in being patient. And kind.

Love is "not jealous or boastful." The first murder was motivated by jealousy. A jealous brother, Cain, killed Abel because God had accepted Abel's sacrifice and not his. A lot of good stuff is killed by jealously. And some good people, too. And a lot of lives are ruined by it. Paul's right, again, to join jealously and boastfulness. Both express feelings of inferiority. We boast because we are not confident of our own worth - we're trying to convince ourselves and others that we matter. "Look how important I am," we are saying when we boast. And jealousy, too, comes from feeling inferior. "She couldn't possibly love me. She will surely fall for the next available man. I have to keep my eye on her. In fact, I can't let her out of my sight." Such poison. Such bitterness.

The simple truth is this: it is the humbleminded (not the boastful) who are teachable, who are receptive. That is why Jesus said the "poor in spirit" would inherit the kingdom. They know their need. They have a chance to hear the Word of God. When I was a sales manager, and we would offer some training program for our sales people, guess who would sign up. The very best sales people we had. As good as they were, they were always eager to learn. The poorest sales persons refused training. They thought they knew it all. Didn't need any help. Went around boasting. Got fired.

Love is "not arrogant or rude." I could preach several sermons on these words. Today we say, "Clothes make the man," but in the old days people said, "Manners maketh the man." Just as a author's writing style gives insight into the author himself, so a person's living style (if he is rough and rude, or if he is considerate and aware of the feelings of others) gives us insight into that person. As a nation, I think, we have become insufferably rude, and then we have justified it to ourselves. In the sixties, that great decade of cynicism, we concluded that manners were not genuine expressions of ourselves, that they were often "phony." So, to say, "Good morning!" to someone, if you weren't really, sincerely wishing, in your heart, that that person might have a good morning, was said to be a lie. So we learned to grunt at other people when we saw them. (It's amazing what we once thought was wisdom!). Manners are idioms; they are not meant to be taken literally. Manners express goodwill. Courtesy shows respect for the other person. Maybe you don't mind talking with your mouth full, but the person across the table just might. Manners remind us that there are other people in the world, and that we are not the measure of everything.

Such courtesy applies not only to our actions, but also to our words. Choosing words carefully. Seeking words that are not inflammatory - so important in Christian fellowship. I've seen it at meetings (even church meetings!). Discussion turns to argument, and then to anger, and hurts us with each other, not because our thoughts are wrong, but because we didn't stop and think how to express our thoughts in ways that do not offend… I'm not suggesting that we should compromise our beliefs, but simply that we should to express them carefully. We don't mean to be arrogant, but sometimes it looks that way.

Love doesn't "insist on its own way." I'm discouraged with the impact of special interest groups in American life. In politics, to use Paul's words, "they insist on their own way." These are one-issue people who cloak their causes in righteousness and will hear of no compromises. You can gain an audience by doing that, and the media will love you for the sound bites, but it is disruptive to the process of good government. The moral question isn't always a question of right and wrong. It is sometimes a question of the possible. If we cannot make the whole journey, let us take steps in the right direction. Six hundred thousand Americans died in the Civil War, more than in all our other wars combined. (There were more Americans killed in Picket's Charge, than in the entire War of 1812.) Why all the blood? Because we allowed ourselves to become a one issue country. There was a time when the Civil War could have been avoided, and the south kept loyal, and the slaves freed. But hotheads insisted on their own way. There could be no compromises, no delays. And the result was a terrible, bloody war. It's what happens when love is lost.

You can take these words of Paul's and apply them to marriage, or to government, or to international relations, or to friendship, or to the church (which was his main interest). They are a handbook for living by the highest that we know: patient, kind, not jealous, not rude, not arrogant, not boastful. I challenge you to find higher standards - anywhere. We need look no further. This is the map to heaven. This is the lighthouse warning us of the rocks beneath the surface, this is the beacon guiding us into port. This is what makes life good. This is what saves. It's as simple as that.