Oak Chapel United Methodist Church

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Let us pray. Lord God - our steadfast pursuer, redeemer and sustainer - we grieve and mourn for individuals … for our country … and for your world. Let not the spirits perish of those whose bodies have died, but let them witness with your Holy Spirit here this morning, in these words and in our thoughts and feelings, through Christ our Lord. Amen

What a week … what a moment in time! We've all seen the pictures and heard the stories - and some of you know of specific persons directly involved in one way or another. Think for a moment about the image that sticks most in your mind? [pause] For some it's perhaps looking up from the ground to see Flight 175 slice through the south tower and explode. For others, it's the needle on the top of the north tower dropping and then shoving the rest of the floors down to the ground, while the skin of the building pealed away. For still others it's the people on the ground, some bloodied, running for their lives. [a little joyful] Or, it's the Navy ship, "Comfort", that my neighbor is on in the lower Manhattan waterfront, providing comfort for the now very weary rescue workers. …Wed we began to see the faces of precious children of God killed on the planes. …And what about the pictures that come to mind as we think of the children, women and men at the hands of creatures wielding razor blades in total disregard for human life?! Or is it the picture of hope that is restored each time another person is found alive or each time someone refers to our loving God even in all this?

With these pictures then come real feelings and emotions: sorrow, heart-felt pain, confusion, insecurity, fear, panic, shock, horror, a call for revenge, for retaliation, for justice … and a shattering of hope. …With these pictures and feelings there are real questions: Why? What does this mean? Can I ever feel secure again? Where was God? Where is God? What does God do or let happen … and why? How do I go on?

How are you and your loved ones dealing with these questions? these feelings? these emotions? What are you sure of … and what are you unsure of?

I certainly don't have all the answers; and I probably don't have even one that will satisfy your specific feelings or needs at this moment. If anyone tells you they have the answer, consider them to be foolish. …As Paul told the Corinthians, "for now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; [only] then [when we sit at the banquet table with Christ] [will we understand]."

Think of Job and his three buddies. These three guys tried to comfort him and tell him why these incredible atrocities were happening around and to him. They said things like, "It isn't necessarily your fault; God's defending himself against Satan!" or "Because you must deserve it." or "Life's tough; this ain't the first time all hell has broken loose; deal with it." or "Take heart, time will heal your sorrows and wounds." or "God doesn't give us any more than we can handle." And they said, "It's a mystery; life is a walk of faith." Were all of these answers wrong? Were all of them simply platitudes? No … but, no one of them was complete; and even together they really didn't contain the message of hope that Job could hang onto and live by. But, by crying out to God in his pain … and yet also in his faith, Job came to see, like Paul said, that there really were no simple, humanly-conceivable cause-and-effect answers to many of these questions in life … other than the fact that God does love God's creation.

How about Jacob? His name means, "he takes by the heel … or, perhaps more clearly translated, "he takes from or displaces by tripping up his opponent." Jacob tripped up Esau and his father Isaac, taking the birthright and blessings from Esau. Jacob escaped the anger of his older brother and went far north to live with his uncle. But, Uncle Laban was very much like Jacob, giving Jacob a substantial taste of his own medicine. After about 14 years of this medicine, Jacob felt called to return to Canaan, to the land, the home and the ways of his father Isaac. But, this would take him through the region south of the Jabbok … the region where Esau lived, where he would have to face danger and perhaps death.

Jacob thought though that he might be able to trip up his brother again by showing his strength through his great wealth or by appeasing Esau with substantial gifts. Jacob decided to send these possessions and gifts - servants, sheep, donkeys and camel - ahead of him to trip his brother up and thereby protect himself.

We join this story in the evening hours. The Scripture says that Jacob … "was left alone." But, oddly, it also says, "a man wrestled with him."

When I was in high school, I did a little wrestling; it's a sport, as I'm sure you know, in which you try to trip your opponent and thereby score a point for the take-down. [gestures] Usually the opponents stalk each other and then take a quick lunge with an arm to the leg, in order to accomplish the trip, the take-down. If this fails, they often end up locked together, holding on to each other, each using their leg strength and positioning to maintain balance, while also attempting to push the opponent off his balance, so that he will trip and fall.

As I read and reflected on this Scripture this week, I came to see this physical wrestling match, as a portrayal of God's prevenient or justifying grace at work in Jacob. Jacob definitely had a level of faith … he had prayed and listened to God. But at this point, Jacob seems to be seriously struggling (wrestling) with who he himself is and on how he got to this point … with who Esau is and why … with who God has been, who God is, what God has done, is doing, or will do … and what this all means to him and to his future … and to that of Esau. This is a wrestling match, for Jacob, between the corrupt self and world and the life of divine justice, and righteousness, and love that God continued to call him to.

But, they seem to be dead-locked. Jacob cannot get the take-down and the steadfastness of his opponent does not convince Jacob to give up. This match must end though - day break is coming! Jacob must wake up; and the encounter with Esau must take place! [pause] In the dark, the man's face has not been seen … which thus far is good, because for a Hebrew to see the face of God … is to die … and the light of dawn was quickly coming!

But God decided that this match would not end in a stalemate. Therefore, God touched the hip of Jacob … a simple touch, but one that struck with incredible power … and Jacob went down...

Linda and I have spent the last 16 months watching her sister Anne wrestle with cancer. The cancer in her bones and brain were so severe in May of 2000 that the doctors said she would likely die in 6 months. But, with intense radiation, chemo and an array of drugs, she wrestled. Her sternum was severely burned by the radiation; her white blood count was so low that she had no immune system left. Anne went from 5'7" and 150# to 80# and 5 feet! In early July of this year she wanted to swim in the lake at my mother's. She held onto my shoulders … laid on my back … and we swam out to the raft and back. In late July, she dawned a wet suite and sat in the ocean in Rhode Island with her two sisters, her two best friends. On August 27, the doctors told Anne that the cancer was then growing rapidly in her lungs and brain and that there was no more they could do - that wouldn't lead to keeping her alive by artificial means. Anne, Linda and Mary were told that Anne had less than a week to live; and they moved her to at-home hospice.

As Jacob went down, something happened! True to his name, but also sincere for the moment, Jacob couldn't just let go - he couldn't call the match's end … God's will was still unfolding, Jacob's life was being transformed by the extremely difficult situation he found himself in and by the uncertain, insecure future he was facing.

Anne wasn't done wrestling. Anne had an eye for beauty and left it with us in her hundreds of pictures that she took. Linda held the camera as Anne lay frail in her bed and took the last set of pictures of her family.

The prayer that Linda and I had prayed so many times in those 14 months was for peace for Anne. We thought she was wrestling far too hard and that she should relax and find peace. On September 2nd Anne cried out, "Why me?! What have I done wrong?!" [for crying out loud!] !Anne had been a cherished and recognized nurse for 30 years! … she had selflessly served so many in the cancer ward!! at Dartmouth's Mary Hitchcock Hospital!

While down though, Jacob asked God for a blessing; and, God gave Jacob a new name. God changed his name from "one who takes by tripping another up, one primarily of the world" … to Israel, "one who strives with God and man … and prevails." Jacob had a new name and a new being … it was as though he had died and been reborn!

We didn't try to answer Anne's cries, we empathized with her … we all simply tried to be with her, to let her know God's love, and to let her know what a witness she had been to the power of faith. She acknowledged that God had blessed her richly in her life; and we reminded her that God shared in her pain and in ours, just as Jesus had in the weeping of Mary and Martha at the death of Lazarus. We assured Anne that her faithful love and strength to wrestle with life would stay alive for her two children and for her husband.

Jacob fought the good fight … a wrestling match - not a boxing match … and he prevailed => it was effective! …Jacob saw the face of God! … and he lived! Even though a sinner (as we all are), even though he was down and hurting and confused and scared, the Scripture says that Jacob, now Israel, asked God to tell him his name --- "Who are you God?!" …God's response was, "Why is it …… that you ask my name; that is for you to see and know; just look inside yourself and ask the question." With that, Jacob found the answer … in his heart … he found it through his wrestling with mankind; that is, with himself and the world … but also by keeping God in the wrestling match … "And therein, by God's grace, God blessed Jacob!"

"Linder" [wink at Linda] and Mary Ellen and many, many friends and relatives held Anne and reflected all her faithful love back to her. And then, the day before she spoke her last words, three days before her body died, we all saw "a glow" in Anne; she was not fearful, she spoke clearly, although faintly. She said a confident and hope-filled farewell to her family, praying with me and with her priest that they would see how she wrestled and what gave her the strength to wrestle to the very end.

Anne died on September 4th at 9PM, a month before her 50th birthday, 2 year's before her daughter's high school graduation, a year before her son entered high school … before her mother, a week before this past Tuesday, leaving her younger sisters, and leaving a husband who saw things as "totally screwed up."

Anne told her husband, Ron, that she loved him. She had been worried about his future, but Anne knew the love, and trusted the will and promises of God. She had wrestled the good fight, fallen to the ground, but landed on her firm foundation, the face of God; and she trusted that God would continue the match with Ron.

I don't have the answers for why Anne had to go through all that she did - both physically and emotionally. I don't know why we had to be witnesses to such pain and suffering. …I don't know why such horror took place on Tuesday. I don't know exactly what the US should now do in response to these evil atrocities that must be stopped. But I do know that I too have wrestled with God and with man … even again as I stood with my bride beside the bed of her best friend … and even again as I integrate all the pictures and emotions and questions from this week … and once again, by the grace of God, I seen the face of my Lord and Savior … and I live.

From dust I came and to dust I will return … my body will die and decay one day also. The question for me becomes very focused - do I believe that the incarnate Word of God, Jesus Christ, gave blood in the midst of a world of hatred, terror, atrocity, confusion, fear and suffering --- that he not only gave some blood, but he gave all of his blood and his body on the reddened cross --- that he did this in order that we might know true love, true joy … so that we might see, change and know true hope, true peace, true security, true justice and righteousness? Do I believe that Jesus was resurrected and appeared to the disciples in the room wherein they had locked themselves, in fear of those who had crucified their teacher? That Jesus said to them … "Peace be with you"? That they then realized that they saw the face of God and regained life and passed that good news on to me?

Through wrestling, God has revealed that assurance to me, God revealed it to Anne and He revealed it to Linda. I believe that we all need to constantly wrestle between this world and this good news in order that we might constantly be saved from a fall we can't get up from. The US needs to and will remain strong, free and just … and righteousness will prevail and vengeance will be left to the Lord … if we continue in that truth and hope … that assurance. For me, out of the wrestling in our family last week and that of the world today has come another call from God to proclaim the gospel, to keep hope alive, to keep lit the Light for true justice and righteousness. Otherwise … where then will we be? Where will our country and the world be, where will Ron and his kids be, and how would anything else be consistent with a God who is a loving Creator, one who doesn't dictate everything in this world but allows us to make choices and to learn, one who is a Redeemer and a Sustainer?!

Who is God for you? Where is God for you? John tells us that Jesus said, "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." Sometimes we must be still, but other times we must wrestle and cry out … and then know again that He is God. Let us wrestle together, carrying one another's load - let us wrestle together and see … see the face of our Savior … and live!

. After church in the parlor, I and a few others will stay to dialog and to wrestle together these pictures, feelings and questions. I invite any and all to join with us; we'll do something about lunch. Anyone who would like to meet one-on-one, I am available or I assist you in scheduling time with Rev. Hamilton, Rev. Kathy Kohl, a counseling specialist, or with another ordained clergy member.